Damn Wisdoms!

So this weekend I finally had my wisdom teeth pulled. I was scheduled to have all 4 taken out. I seriously wasn’t looking forward to it. Why would I? One, I dislike pain. Two, I dislike being financial fucked. Speaking of being financially fucked, dental insurance is bullshit. Complete and utter bullshit!! It doesn’t operate like normal health insurance where most of the cost is taken on by the insurance company, it’s the complete opposite. For the next 6 months I’m on a payment plan with the devil.

Anyways I went in for my financial fucking at 7:30 am on Saturday, nervous and not looking forward to it all. Intelligently, I did opt to be put to sleep. Smartest thing I did. I went in, I was asked some questions about who was taking me home. The guy took my vitals and then the surgeon came in. He talked to me about my bottom two wisdom teeth. He told me that the two were sitting on or two close to a nerve which controls sensation in the lower face. He told me that if he got in there chances are he would damage the nerve in some complicity. How exactly, there was no way of knowing until afterwards. So we both decided to leave them in since they weren’t currently bothering me.

After our discussion he hooked me up and I was out like a fuckin light. Next thing I remember was dreaming that I was being wheeled through a lab. In reality I wasn’t dreaming. My wife says I looked up at her and smiled and drunkenly said hi then started looking behind me. I thought I was wheeled in from a separate door but there was only one. I turned around in my wheel chair and said, didn’t I come from over there, my wife looked at me like I was an idiot and said “Umm.. no, there’s only one door.” I think I responded with, You sure?

As the surgeon and my wife talked I whispered, “I’m high as fuck.” Well, I thought I was whispering. Apparently I yelled, “I’m HIGH AS FUCK!” She responded with, “SHHHH!” She later told me there was a kid in the other room who probably heard foul language. I’m not someone who dabbled in illicit drugs much so that was a whole new experience for me. I suggest that oral surgeons post a camera in these rooms upload every comical scene onto YouTube. I would love to have replayed my scene over and over.

Dungy

Tony’s D on Micheal Sam

The big story today is former head coach Tony Dungy telling the world that he would not have drafted Micheal Sam out of not wanting to deal with the whole first openly gay player thing. On some level I understand what he means. I don’t think the man is a homophobic person, but just doesn’t want to deal with the media distraction it would bring by drafting Micheal Sam.

“I wouldn’t have taken him. Not because I don’t believe Michael Sam should have a chance to play, but I wouldn’t want to deal with all of it.”

In just looking at it on a superficial level I take his words and move on, it’s really not that big of a fuckin deal to me. But then I remember, wasn’t this the same guy vouching for Micheal Vick’s return to the NFL after being convicted of brutally killing, beating, and fighting dogs? You’re telling me that you would stand behind that murderer and choose to withstand the media distraction that that whole fiasco brought on but a gay player would too much?

I’m not offended by his opinion as he has the right to it, but the more I think about it the more I’m just flat out annoyed by it. In what fuckin world is sticking your dick in your consenting partner’s ass a bigger headache media wise than a man who murders dogs!?

With all that I haven’t even gotten to the portion about Tony Dungy being an African American, it wasn’t too long ago that white owners were worried about the distractions of adding the first black player to their team.

Have your opinions, whatever they may be. But at least be consistent when you decide to open your mouth.

Retirement

I went to a retirement party at work yesterday and it felt like a fuckin funeral. Some people go up and say honest things about you while other show up and lie their fuckin ass off as if you were best friends the last 20 or 30 years. One woman gave a speech about how great the retiree’s work ethic was. I nearly fuckin burst out laughing at how much bullshit I was hearing. This was the same motherfucker that would fall asleep at her desk just because she was either tired or not feeling well. Ridiculous!

Traitor?

Homeland

I’m not the biggest Obama fan these days. He’s going from one fuck up to the next without thinking things through. I was never deployed over seas so by no means am I judging someone’s state of mind for making a decision in the fog of war. With that being said how the fuck does the United States trade five top level terrorists for someone who’s walked off the battlefield?

Lets say we buy the original story of him falling behind while on patrol and being snatched up. Does that mean we trade one low level soldier for five high level guys who attack women and children? It might sound cold to people who have never serves but everyone and everything on the battlefield is property. Pieces that get moved about and used to gain the upper hand during war. How the fuck does this give you the upper hand?

If Obama was looking for that feel good story that would get Americans to fall in love with him all over again this ain’t it. He left his post during war and caused the deaths of six service members who will never have the opportunity of seeing their families again. To add the P.R. nightmare word is now getting out that the guy was actually helping the enemy with intel on how and when to attack Americans.

If this shit is remotely true, add it to the list of shitty decisions that this president has made..

Menstrual Cup?!?!

So the wife and I stopped at the pharmacy to pick up her refill pain medication for her plantar fasciitis. While at the counter these two younger females walked up to the counter next to ask asking if they sold menstrual cups. The minute I hear menstrual anything I fuckin bolted right down to the end of one of isles.

Once my wife was done, she found me and asked why I left. I told her what I overheard and we both looked at each other like what the fuck is that? On the drive home we decided to look it up and she found this handy little video that puts the little disgusting fucking thing into perspective.

It’s bad enough that the normal act as we know it of jamming a plug up there or wearing a diaper is filthy enough, now we want to add cups?! Well, enjoy this video. It describes what the items are and how to use it.