Bucket List of Jobs

The older I get the more I start thinking about the shit I want to add to my Bucket List. You have the basics, take a trip here or there, sky dive, and so on. I have a separate list for jobs I want, just so I can do off the wall shit at.

For example, as a kid, I always wanted to be a professional wrestler. This was obviously before I realized the majority of them were on steroids, and their life expectancy was 43 years old. So what I want to do is get into one match, in front of a crowd. Me and my “opponent”, get together before hand, and work out the details of how I’ll lose. He and I put on a great match, but half way through, I go nuts and turn up the action. You think I’m going to lose the one match I’ve been waiting a lifetime for? Hell no! I deliver a vicious DDT, get the cover, 3 count, and just flee the scene through the crowd.

One of the other things I also want to do is join a coed softball league. I don’t even want to actually play. At my first at bat, I’m just looking to rush the mound. I’m not looking to hurt anyone, just make a scene. The poor female pitcher will be so caught off guard, that she will never be able to defend the takedown. Once we are all finally pulled apart, I want to walk over to one of the bases and pull it from the ground and toss it into the outfield, then storm off after kicking some dirt on the umpire.

I’ve always been really responsible when it comes to work, but I wanna see how the side lives. I want to apply for a job, ace the interview, accept the job, then act like a complete shithead. I want to talk back to my supervisor, eat people’s lunches, show up late, and piss off when I should be working.

That last one I’ll problably do once I retire, people think it’s funny or cute coming from an old man. But anyways, I’m going to do at least one of these at some point.

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