1st Birthday Party

I’ve never understood why someone would throw a one year old, a birthday party, it’s honestly a bit of a waste of time. Kid isn’t going to remember shit, so why bother? Do people invite other kids over to enjoy the festivities? Does this one year old blow out his own candles? You know how silly you look propping them up and helping them open gifts? This coming from a guy who doesn’t have any kids, so what the fuck do I know.

With that being said, I’ve been told that these parties are more for the parents. If that’s the case, then why don’t we have an adult themes party. Your life has probably turned to shit over the past year. Highly doubt you’ve had much alone time, or socialization with adults for that matter. So drop the kid off at Grandma’s and throw a kegger, or have massive amounts of wine. Really doesn’t matter, just do what the fuck adults without kids do. You’ve deprived yourself for an entire year.

You’ve changed shitty diapers, cleaned up throw up, and possibly been peed on more times than you care to admit. You know the smell of your kids diaper better than you know your spouse’s perfume or cologne. If you think about it, that’s gross. When you look back on your first year, you’re lucky that child is still alive. That alone is an accomplishment within itself. So drink it up, smoke some weed depending on the state you live in, you’ve earned it!

So enjoy!

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