It’s that time of year, the San Diego County Fair is back. It opens this weekend, I plan on going a time or two. There’s a lot of good food, and extremely random shit to buy. I always get down there and forget that the box cutter that I use for work is in my back pocket. I’ve had to toss more box cutters due to the fair, than I have purely on my own neglect. All this only to walk in and see that I can purchase every kind of kitchen knife once I’m inside. Weird.

I recommend you get in line for any one of the death-defying rides, that they assembled just a few days ago, by a questionable character with a record of some sort. If you are one for safety standards this may not be the place for you. They might as well put up a sign saying, ride at your own risk, because that’s pretty much what you’re doing.

The food is tasty but also a risk, you’re going to gain weight, and if you have health issues, I suggest you pass. They try to outdo themselves every year, by deep-frying something new. I’m amazed that they haven’t ran out of ideas by now.

Now, what I like best about the fair, is the pure freedom. There are so many people there, walking is hugely difficult task, you’re constantly getting cut off or running into people, and I love it!!

I Sir/Ma’am, love the freedom to fart. I’m a little buttoned up when it comes to passing gas. I usually hold it and do my business in the bathroom. I’m respectful of people’s air, but while out at the fair it’s a no holds bared street fight. Rules do not apply, there are so many people there, no one knows who did what. That’s the beauty of it. Much like when you’re at the pool, full of people. You tinkle knowing no one can trace the evidence back to you. It’s the perfect fuckin crime!

So go out and give it a try whenever the urge hits you. It’s true freedom!!