I went to a retirement party at work yesterday and it felt like a fuckin funeral. Some people go up and say honest things about you while other show up and lie their fuckin ass off as if you were best friends the last 20 or 30 years. One woman gave a speech about how great the retiree’s work ethic was. I nearly fuckin burst out laughing at how much bullshit I was hearing. This was the same motherfucker that would fall asleep at her desk just because she was either tired or not feeling well. Ridiculous!